The Tour Guide by Henry P. Kramer

        When you visit the city of Bath in Southern England I hope you have the good fortune of being shown around the town by the man who entertained us together with a random collection of tourists from Australia, Canada and the United States. He is a middle aged man of medium height, thinning, graying hair, erect bearing, who dresses well but plainly in a good tweed coat and an open collared flannel shirt. He is perfectly ordinary in appearance, neither fat, nor thin, neither tall, nor short. He is not a professional tour guide but a member of the Mayor's Corps of Honorary Guides who volunteer their time and knowledge to the benefit of the city and its visitors. We assemble at the scheduled time in front of the Roman Baths at the center of the city named Bath or the equivalent since Roman and pre-Roman Celtic times. He introduces himself.
        "I am John Eldred. The tour will take two hours. Those of you who are particularly interested in the Roman Baths can look at them yourselves. My interest, which I am sure you share, is the Georgian architecture which flowered in the city of Bath. Those of you from the United States may wish to know that Georgian architecture is named after the eighteenth century Hanoverian Georges, the last of whom was King George 111, a fine monarch, whose only misfortune was losing the American colonies to a rebellion. We have much to see and I shall set a rapid pace. Those that can't keep up are free to drop out any time.
        "Here are the baths established in the eighteenth century where Queen Anne, herself, took the waters. Here is the house of the Prince of Wales who spent a great deal of time in Bath. Over there is a hospital where the poor traveler, who didn't have a house in Bath, could benefit from the healing qualities of the waters. Let's move on now.
        "You will notice that all of the buildings in Bath are constructed of a lovely beige sandstone. With time, this sandstone discolors. Here, behind the scaffolding, you see an eighteenth century house being washed with lime water. Notice how bright the washed stone is in comparison to the aged stone. Let's move on now. If any can't keep up, feel free to drop out.
        "Now, here is Beau Nash's house. Beau Nash, the man who set the pace in eighteenth century Bath, was a dandy carried about in a sedan chair by liveried foot men, and with elan and authority organized eighteenth century Bath society and laid the basis for modem Bath. Let's move on now.
        "Do you see the iron rings in front of these houses. With torches lit, servants ran before the sedan chairs and guarded against footpads threatening robbery on the dark streets. Upon arriving at their destination, they deposited their flambeaux in the rings to pick them up again on departure. The for-hire sedan chair carriers practiced their own form of banditry. Many a lady was dumped on her own silk-shod feet in the middle of the muddy street when she didn't pay an additional charge levied whilst on the trip from her house to the night's festivities. Now let's move on.
        "Here you see a house with generous, winding stair case accommodating a sedan chair and four carriers to transport the lady from immersion in the baths, through the streets, up the spiral stairs, directly into the bedroom for rest and preparation for a festive evening. Let's move on now.
        "Here we are in front of the Royal Crescent. All of the connected but separately owned houses in the semicircle must conform to the uniform architectural prescription laid down by the Bath Preservation Trust in accord with the design by the leading Georgian architect of Bath, the elder John Wood. Here is a house with the door painted tan instead of the required white. The woman who owns the house claims the right to any color she chooses for her house. The matter is still in controversy. The top floors of the houses, under the eaves, cold in winter and hot in summer, were for the servants and rightly so. Now let's move on briskly. Ah, is there a question?
        "Ah, yes. No, certainly Palladian Architecture has nothing to do with the Palatine Hill of Rome. The name is derived from the Italian Renaissance architect Andrea Palladio. He adapted the classical style to modem buildings. Palladian characteristics appear on the houses in this street. The lintels of the windows and doors are intermixed, some being of triangular and others of arched form. All of the columns on the facade of a given story are of the same order, Ionic, Doric, or Corinthian. Ah, yes, another question?
        "Yes, yes, of course. Here is an example of a Doric capital. You see the simplicity. And over here is an Ionic capital resembling flattened goat horns. Over there observe the floral fantasy of the Corinthian capital. Well, now let's quickly move on.
        "We have arrived at the Circus. All the houses were started by John Wood father and completed by John Wood son. It is a prime example of Georgian architecture. Houses in the Circus were occupied by many notables including Prime Minister Pitt and Lord Nelson. You will note that in the center of the Circus, in the little park, is situated a well. Until the availability of municipally piped water, the well supplied the water for all the houses of the Circus. Very early in the morning the servants would come to fill vessels at the well because non-liveried servants were not allowed after six o'clock in the morning and rightly so.
"These public gardens were frequented in the nineteenth century by Dickens who had a house facing them. Ladies, watch your steps on the gravel paths. Of course, any one who wishes to leave us now is free to do so. The rest let's move on briskly.
        "Here is the house containing the nineteenth century the city council chambers. After a late evening session, one of the councilors heard a heavy tramping and martial music coming from the foundations below the cellars. The building had been erected over the site of the first century encampment of the Eleventh Roman Legion. A question? Yes, well, of course, the cellars were substantially stocked with good wines. Notwithstanding, the phenomenon was subsequently confirmed when a servant saw a ghostly column of men in plumed helmets and breast plate marching in the fog.
        "In passing, note Bath Abbey, a Gothic structure, presently being refurbished. We have now come back to our starting point and I see most of you have managed to stay with me. I expect you have learned something about the city of Bath and its Georgian houses. Yes, of course, there are many fine restaurants and pubs round about. No, I shan't recommend one over another. Good bye."
        After a good pub lunch, my wife visited some antique stores and I went to visit the memorable but non-Georgian Roman Baths.